Reaching SSD via phone

But seriously. If you don't already have my phone number, don't bother trying to call me. Don't try calling my department either. If you're reading this page, you can reach me via e-mail, so DO THAT INSTEAD.

ESPECIALLY, don't call me to ask questions about my web pages or ask for help about a system not related to UCF Engineering. If you insist on getting help from me via phone, I'll accomodate, but my rate is $50/hour for phone time, and I'll call you after you send me your check and what time is best for you.

Here's WHY I don't like to deal with people on the phone:

1. I don't have a phone in my lab, so if you call me on campus, assuming I am on campus at all, the secretary has to come find me, and then I have to shut down whatever I was doing to come talk to you. When I get there, I'll be real annoyed and not terribly polite.
2. I am not in the lab regularly even if I did have a phone in the lab.
3. I am not at home regularly, and when I am I'm usually dialed in, so the phone will be busy anyway.
4. Phones interrupt what you were doing, while email can be processed in the order it was sent. Helping people via phone is rude to those who were there first.
5. Computer stuff is messy to do on the phone. Data is often misheard and extraneous syntax errors are introduced, wasting more time...while it could have been transmitted perfectly the first time via e-mail, and maybe even a cut/paste mechanism used.
6. I am not omnicient. Sometimes I have to look stuff up. Since I don't have any phones near computers, it is difficult to be on the phone and look stuff up at the same time. So, as a result, the answer you get from me on the phone will be off the top of my head, and will not be as accurate as if I had looked it up on the spot.
7. If lots of people ask the same question, I can send them a premade answer via e-mail, where on the phone, see above...

If you ask for help via e-mail, I don't generally charge, but you might not get an answer either, depending if I've got the time...